Moving on.

Lets not think about love for a second,I've been talking so much about love and other things that has forced me to change over this past year,but for a second let me be completely unselfish and try to talk about something other than myself.
So what if I got my heartbroken,it is equally my fault as it was his.
My fault because I trusted him,his fault,well obviously because he broke my trust.
This battle of blame is never ending..so today i'm going to let go of all the anger,of all the disappointing,and all the pitty.

Sure it's a good thing to be friends with your ex,obviously they meant the world to you at some point in your life,but at this moment when you're sitting here thinking of that person,are they thinking about u?
Perhaps.There is a rare chance that person is thinking about you.
Out of 100 ill give it a 1% chance that he is thinking about me right now and if he is,I advise him to let go,as i am now.
What good comes out of thinking about the person you loved? Nothing.
At this moment,i'm not there and he isn't here.
Whatever we do is not going to affect that person directly in anyway anymore.
The day you decided to break that bond of trust was the day you gave that person the freedom to do whatever the hell they wanted without ever having to think about how it was going to effect you.

Let the pitty party end,that's what I say.
Tired of being unhappy? Then do something about it goddammit and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Don't ever let someone else's perspective of you change the way you look at yourself.
We're all old enough to know what we're doing right,and what we're doing wrong.We sure as hell don't need someone else to tell us in anyway what mistakes we've done.

People like to gloat,that's what I've learned.
Yesterday, I told my ex something and I did not expect him to be kind about it,nor did I expect him to be rude.I've had my wake up call already and I did not need him to throw one at my face.

I'm letting go,I'm moving on...its about time that i did.

You should always remember that you are the only person you can count on.When things get rough there will be some people around you to help you out but at the end of the day the only person you will listen to is yourself,because you know what is best for you better than anyone else.

No matter how much I love him, I am strong enough to say that I love myself more than to be a slave of his love.
No matter how many bad things I have done,no one has the right to call me by any name.

Word of advice: Before u go pointing fingers,make sure your hands are clean...Before you go calling names,make sure you aren't worthy of that name yourself.

Its easy to just run your mouth out without thinking about consequences but one day it'll catch up to you,all the things you say will eventually come right back and bite you in the ass.Trust me,i speak from experience.

Inevitable change.

When I think about life I don't only think of the things that are going on right now or what I might be faced with in the future..but for some strange reason I always,always think about my past and not just about the recent years but back to when I was a child.

To think of the problems I faced back then compared to the things i'm going through right now,seems like a piece of cake.

Teaching kinder-garden has taught me more than I imagined I would learn.For me this job was just a way to make money and pass my time,but its a lot more than that..to see the problems the kids face daily,not only at school but at home too and to try to understand it from their point of view,changes my perspective on things.

Little do they know that from here on out its just going to get bigger and bigger,not only the problems but the good things too.

If i could go back,and change it all,i'm most certain that i wouldn't want to do that.Sure I've made mistakes in my life,big ones,but I am who I am today because of those mistakes.I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm fortunate that I am still young,I can change the person who I am going to become but I wouldn't want to change the person I was just because it would guarantee a happier present.I can see how this might come off as,some might say its stupid,but to me this is completely logical.

You don't want to wake up one day and  have this opportunity for a completely different life,its a big risk.

There is a reason why we live life once,all that we're suppose to do has to be done,just once.There is no rewind button,there is no pause and there sure as hell isn't a delete button,and in a way its a blessing.

When you're at a point in your life, trying to define the person who you have become in plain simple words,you realize that its harder than you expected,because we never stay the same.Change is inevitable,the only thing that remains the same is change itself.

We're constantly growing,trying to find ourselves and when we finally have an answer,something happens and we got to change all over again.

Nothing is written in stone,who's to say that you're suppose to be a certain way?.You be who you want to be,be someone who you are proud of,don't do things that cause you shame.

The world isn't split into good people and bad..we've got light and dark in us,its up to us to decide which part to act on.

Wisdom of 2012

On New-years eve,I wasn't quite feeling it..didn't want 2012 to start just yet cause I hadn't figured shit out.

I guess I wanted to be ready,I wanted to know exactly what I was looking for when I entered the new year.

Fresh mind,fresh start..But instead I entered it with memories of the past year,each and every damn memory.

2011 changed me big time...

-I lost 2 of my grandparents,The only grandparents I had left

-I fell in love.

-I graduated high school.

-I said goodbye to my best mates.

-I found out my mother was ill,watched her almost die.

-I started to work,my first real job ever.

-I got my heart broken.

-I started cooking.

-I let go of a bad habit.

-I made some mistakes,I hurt some feelings.

-I failed a few subjects,but eventually passed them.

All these things just off the top of my head,i can't possibly imagine writing every single thing that happened.

Basically in the midst of all this,I realized that I had grownup,I was now an adult.

I know im going to make mistakes and it doesnt matter,i dont expect myself to be perfect,that wud be weird..even for me but now i think i should start taking things seriously, I've already illuminated the people from my life that didn't mean anything,there is no reason to keep these people around,no room for unnecessary drama. 

It took me about a day to ease into the fact that it was actually 2012 and then I started to think about how this could be the new beginning I was looking for,a whole new year,12months.I could do everything right this time.

Evaluate myself and start a new book.,screw the next chapter.. It was time for an entire new book..

Let's call it 18 and above.

Midnight clarity.

So i'm sitting in my balcony,its sort of a late night ritual and I see an airplane passing by..I cannot help but think about the song "airplanes" and my ind wonders to the days where i was so desperate for a wish,that I'd wish upon an airplane.

As I sit here and look at the airplane pass me by I feel calm,because today i do not have a wish to make,today i don't find myself in a situation where I feel desperate enough to result to these methods.Something that did not even make sense,but I did it.

Songs have a way of talking to us,making us do illogical things.
Would we have thought of  making a wish on an airplane before? I know i never did.
Desperate times look for desperate measures and now as i sit here,i cannot even remember the things i had wished for.

If you really need something,all you have to do is pray to God.What is a plane going to do,or a shooting star for that matter?.These unbelievable idiocracies have become a part of our lives that we cannot differentiate logic from stupidity or perhaps we don't want to.

At this point in my life I am happy to say that I do not need an airplane to make my wishes come true,All i do is ask God,with a pure heart..To give me the things he thinks i deserve and nothing more,and even if i do not deserve them,still give them to me..Only if he wishes.